My mind floated a lot yesterday. I has those moments of objective detachment that come every so often when subconscious thoughts are pounding away furiously at an idea but not yet speaking to the conscious brain. I’m not sure it’s done yet but things seem quieter in there today.

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My partner and I usually visit with friends on a Saturday morning walk. I usually walk a little bit of the way with the group, then split off to go my own way to the coffee shop where everyone assembles for breakfast and chit chat. Then I walk back with the group to where our cars are parked. We’ve been doing this for several years … it’s one of the staples of our weekend. 

I like the moments of the walk when I’m with friends, but I cannot do without the moments when I can just think and meditate in silence as I walk. Time floated quite a lot on yesterday’s amble … it moved faster and slower as things came into focus then drifted out again. My conversation at breakfast was subdued, the walk back was fascination as I walked with two friends and listened to them talking but could not hear the words. It was as if words tumbled around in the air, meaning-blobs that would not form a recognizable shape but just made me curious as to their shape, weight, color. My attention drifted and focused on things one at a time, or not at all. 

A conversation on the online equipment forums was disturbing me. Why do the discussions on camera equipment forums always seem to exhibit the most passionate and intense territorialism? As if buying a camera of a particular brand was some kind of membership into an exclusive tribe, and all other tribes must be put down for their lack of sense and sensibility … It is a phenomenon that I’ve noticed over and over again these past twelve years: people talking at cross purposes, offering opinion as fact and then defending those opinions with ferocious intent. Insinuation, ad hominem argument, chaos. Why?

Another set of comments, on a photograph I posted for critique on another forum, was truly fascination. Five people remarked on it … All of them critiqued the title, not the photograph! Huh? 

My interest in participating in these forums is because I use the equipment, yes, and like it, yes, and have a compulsion to share what I’ve learned about its use with others. But my greater interest is because I love to discuss Photography … the connection, the emotion, the capture of that which we see into a visual expression. To look at and appreciate what others photograph. This seems at cross purposes to the discussion on the forums so many times. 

Very curious these things. I often feel as if I’m walking two different paths, divergent but linked, and am torn between signing off and staying on. The photography I love to pursue is often so far removed from what I see as the latest vogue in pictures posted, but I’m compelled to continue posting my work in the hope of finding a discussion beyond what I see daily.

More silence, I think. More work behind the scenes in my head. That subconscious is really busy right now. A good thing. 
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